Dear Drip Coffee Machine,
We’ve been together for a very long time. I’ve loved every minute of it … I really have! We’ve grown together – oh boy how we’ve grown! At the beginning i packed you full of the cheapest coffee I could find in the store. You didn’t complain, you just chugged away without even a word. Yeah, the coffee was bitter and, quite frankly, an affront to all things good about coffee. But that wasn’t your fault. I was the one buying the cheap coffee.
I tried to make it better by upgrading to whole bean coffee. But I was still buying the grocery store stuff and who knows how long that was sitting there! Then someone told me that if I dressed you up with a gold filter it would be better. It was – marginally.
And then there’s your hot plate. Quite frankly, it’s only one of the problems. You’re baking my coffee and after even a few minutes it’s just like licking the bottom of a charcoal grill.
And the dripping! I know it’s not your fault – it’s the way you were designed. But you just can’t seem to extract all of the coffee goodness from the beans. It can’t be good when there are still dry coffee grounds in the basket when I’m done.
Really – it’s not you, it’s me. See, I’ve decided that I need to upgrade my coffee.
And I hate to say…. she’s french.
I’m sorry! I know you’re upset, but it was so simple and elegant! Just add hot water and wait. And the result! Ooh la la! Bright high notes from my Yirgicheffe! Wild flavors from the Sumatra! And the blends! I can taste all of the flavors God intended!
To top it all off she was cheap. No! Wait! I didn’t mean it that way! I mean, you’re kinda getting long in the tooth. In the grand scheme of things finding a replacement for you is kinda…well… pricy. This one has no moving parts and its dishwasher safe to boot!
On top of all that, I just can’t handle going to the coffee shop every time I want a really good cup of coffee. I need to start making better coffee at home. The last time I had people over for dinner you were an embarrassment. The coffee was weak and it took 10 minutes for each pot. She’s done in just 4 minutes! I can make multiple presses in the time it takes to brew just one pot! You just can’t seem to keep up.
I need to make a change here. I’m sorry. I’m upgrading. It’s been good but I’m done.
c’est la vie.